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About the Author
Eric LudyAs full-time speakers, writers, and musicians, Eric and Leslie Ludy challenge and encourage young adults and singles around the world to pursue holiness in every aspect of their lives. The Ludys live in Windsor, Colorado.Leslie LudyAs full-time speakers, writers, and musicians, Eric and Leslie Ludy challenge and encourage young adults and singles around the world to pursue holiness in every aspect of their lives. The Ludys live in Windsor, Colorado.
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Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
All the Kens and Barbies sat around the table. (Note: technically, it’s now supposed to be “Blaine and Barbie,” but I still have a soft spot for good old Ken.) Amid glistening smiles and Coppertone tans, the fragrance of Polo, with a hint of Skin So Soft (yes, this was the good ol’ nineties!) wafted through the café booth. I nibbled at my burrito as the conversation around me finally arrived at its ultimate destination.“So, Kevin,” Barbie No. 1 flirted across the table, “tell us who you’re seeing now.”Kevin, the son of a state senator, was used to having eyes upon him. Being a Tom Cruise look-alike has a way of boosting the ego. As he crunched a chip between perfect teeth, an “I thought you’d never ask” smirk found its way across his face.As all of us camp counselors leaned in, eyes bulging with expectancy, Kevin finally revealed the secret in a low monotone: “Her name is…Sandra!”This only added to the excitement and wonder, because no one had any idea who Sandra was.“Is she a babe?” crooned the resident Brad Pitt, alias Mike from Wyoming.Say no more! Swift as the bionicman, Kevin whipped out his wallet. Moments later we all observed a photograph of the “hottest girl on the planet,” as Kevin so proudly referred to her.“Niiice!” came the rumble of approval from Brad Pitt and Matt Damon (Wayne from Denver).“I think she has a huge nose!” grumbled one of the girls under her breath.I continued to pick at my burrito.Barbie No. 2, sitting beside Top Gun, was next in the heartthrob inquisition. She displayed a photo of her boyfriend to cheers of “You go, girl!” from the Barbies and disapproving rumbles about his skinny neck from the Kens, Brads,Matts, and Toms.After a week of having to exhibit saintlike behavior to all the little campers and being superspiritual while around the camp leaders, it was time to let our hair down—time to let the real passions of life come out. I mean, in your late teens and early twenties, you can sing only so many spiritual camp songs before you need an infusion of good old-fashioned romance.One year earlier, talks like this had really litmy fire. I used to love to brag about my love life at camp and exaggerate about my “sexy new girlfriend” in a way that would make all the guys jealous and all the girls insecure. You could say just about anything and get away with it; no one was going home with you to check out your story.I used to crave these love chats, but something about Eric Ludy had changed—something big. Something that made me want to slide under the table when all those inquisitive eyes turned my way.I’ll never forget the moment. There I was, my fork poking at the jalapeño stranded on the corner of my plate and my mind screaming over and over, Please don’t ask me…please don’t ask me.They asked.“So, Eric, tell us about your exciting love life!”All the periwinkle, emerald, and dark brown eyes were twinkling at me with expectation. I gulped.“Uhhhh,” I mumbled.My palms were sweaty.My tongue was dry and thick, like I had a felt eraser in my mouth. Finally, I found my voice. “Uhh, I uhh, actually, uh, I am waiting on God.”But to be honest, it didn’t really come out as clearly as I just wrote it.The last part of my sentence mumbled under my breath, sounding something like, “Ima waying on Gaw.”I hoped a brief answer would encourage them to move on to Elle Macpherson (a.k.a. Kayla from Utah) seated next to me, poised and ready with a photo of her hunk. The plan backfired. They became even more interested.“Uh, I think we missed that, Ludy,” Tom Cruise sarcastically challenged. “Was that a girl’s name or some kind of Chinese food?”After the laughs subsided, I began again, this time a little more clearly.“I know this may sound strange, you guys, but I’ve decided that I won’t give my heart to another girl until God shows me it’s my wife.”I have often wished I could have been more eloquent, that I could have made my resolve sound a little more appealing to my audience, now staring at me with mouths ajar. But I guess God wanted me to know that I was following a different path, that I was not to seek the approval of the Kens and Barbies of this world but simply to honor and love Him.It was a lonely moment. Silence filled our corner of the restaurant, and all eyes focused on the jalapeño I was ruthlessly stabbing to death.“That’s…interesting!” Barbie No. 1 awkwardly noted, her eyes large with disbelief.Wayne from Denver was not quite as subtle in his disapproval. “Oh, give me a break!” he exploded in disgust. “How in the world do you expect to find someone, Ludy, if you’re not out there looking?”His words incited a chorus of yeahs and exactlys from around the booth.After a moment of reflective silence, I took a deep breath and stated, “I believe that if God wants me to be married”—another deep breath—“He will pick her out for me.”A dark cloud settled over the entire group and rained down bewilderment in the form of pursed lips and rolled eyes. I glanced up from my tortured jalapeño to discover a long bony index finger pointing at me, about twelve inches from my nose. Kevin used that finger like Clint Eastwood used a gun.He didn’t shoot to maim—he shot to kill.His bronzed face had turned red with annoyance, and his lips were quivering with indignation, like a lava pool ready to explode. After three long seconds, he finally erupted.“I totally disagree with you!” he fumed, his index finger still targeting my right nostril. “God doesn’t want us hanging around nagging Him about something like that!”A few “amens” from the crowd textured his passionate sermon. He continued. “I believe God wants us to pick,” he preached, “and then He blesses our choice!” He paused and then came to a climactic finish: “It’s sappy Christianity like yours that gives us Christians the image of helpless orphans! It is absolutely ridiculous to think that God would care that much about your love life!”The finger held fast for another few long seconds, then slowly dropped as if to say, You show any sign of life, and I’ll shoot again!I was the ultimate bummer to their titillating conversation. If ever you want to drain the juice right out of romance, just bring God into the picture. I had committed the unpardonable camp counselor sin, and all the eyes around the table were letting me know it.Growing up, I had always gotten along with everybody. I knew how to be liked by the crowd and not offend anyone. I was careful to say the right thing in order to avoid disagreements. Eric Ludy had never been known for his backbone…well, except maybe in championing the Denver Broncos. But when it came to things that really mattered, I was just plain spineless. This was one of the first times in my life I can remember actually standing up for something I believed in (that wasn’t orange and blue).Ironically, I didn’t even know exactly what I was talking about. Just twelve months before, I, too, would have “totally disagreed” with what I had just said. But over the past year, God had been challenging me to apply my Christianity to every area of my life.Was it ridiculous to think God would be interested enough in my love life to direct me to the girl He wanted me to spend my life with?I shifted in my seat, stabbed my jalapeño one last time, and spoke.“All I know,” I said, “is that every time I’ve tried to find someone myself, I realize in the long run that I have horrible taste.”All eyes were wide with amazement as I concluded, “Kevin, if God had ten women line up in front of me and said, ‘Eric, you pick,’ I would fall flat on my face before Him and say, ‘God, you know me better than I know myself…You pick! ’ ”I’ll bet no one present other thanmyself remembers that scene.To them it was probably just the ramblings of a lunatic named Ludy. But for me it was a defining moment. It was almost as if God was saying, “How seriously are you going to trust Me, Eric?”So there it was, in front of the babes and the big egos, that God challenged me to officially trust Him with the “pen” of my life. I had held onto that pen for twenty years, and now, over a chicken burrito and a mangled jalapeño, I handed it over to the great Author to allow Him to work His wonders.I’ve never regretted it for a moment.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Multnomah; Expanded ed. edition (June 2, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1601421656
ISBN-13: 978-1601421654
Product Dimensions:
5.1 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
238 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#75,632 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
One of the more clear and helpful books on Christian relationships I've ever read (and honestly I've read my fair share). I am 25 years old and in my first relationship (19 months and going strong!), but I read this book first when I was single and again right as my relationship was beginning. Not only does it give very helpful advice to someone in a relationship (such as ways to maintain your purity and keep the correct priorities), it also really was like warm butter on fresh bread to me in my season of singleness. Because this book is based on letting God have control of your love life, it is encouraging to someone aching for a relationship and trying to keep the right priorities. I know that it helped me immensely and it brought me to a new level of intimacy with God when I didn't have that with another human being.
I ordered this book March 2013 after it caught my eye in a book store. It sat on my shelf for over a year and I finally started reading it April 2014. Today I just finished this book. When finally complete, I burst into tears. I had to fall to my knees and thank God for bringing this book into my life.This book will make you cry, laugh, repent, and hope. It will make you feel guilt and sorrow from your past, it will make you raise your standards for relationships, it will make you cry out to God to take and restore your love life.I started this book right at the end of a break up. I was so desperate for help and understanding. This book completely changed the way I approach relationships. It helped me realize why it didn't work out with the guy I dated. It helped me have JOY that the relationship ended. I have always been the type of person to cycle through relationships, looking for meaning and purpose through them. This book helped me fall in love with God. I am so thankful to be single and invite Him to take complete control of my life. Now, I can wait patiently if He chooses to bring a Christ-like man into my life. I won't settle for less.If you have been through heartbreak, if you have never found fulfillment in your relationships, if you have been left confused and lost in the relationship arena....please read this book. Your eyes will be open to complete truths, and you will be forever changed.
This book explores God's plan for lasting love, and how that contrasts with the self centered approach that young men and women too often take in finding a mate. The story roughly follows the authors from their troubled teen years as single Christians, through the friendship and courtship stages of their relationship with each other, to their present life as a married couple involved in Christian singles ministry. Authorship of each chapter alternates between Eric and Leslie as they share their life experiences and the wisdom God has given them along the way. In his quest, Eric felt that God was revealing to him "the beautiful side of love", a heavenly song sweeter than any known by those who don't personally know Christ.This book is appropriate for a 14 - 19 year old Christian audience. This latest revision shows that the authors have matured in their writing style and have made some useful edits to the content. Popular literature quotations have been reduced in favor of Bible quotations that were added, making the message clearer than in the original text written back in 1999.Eric describes how as a teen, he would give his heart away to girls he was dating, but acted selfishly with them because he assumed the relationships wouldn't last. After his sister gave him a book that exhorted him to give control of his life over to God, Eric was determined to never give his heart away to another girl unless God showed him first that he was going to marry her. Meanwhile, Leslie entered high school thinking it would be fun to date a lot of different guys. She thought that by keeping a few simple Christian dating `rules', she would be obedient to Christ and her heart would be protected. However, she found this lifestyle left her with a broken heart, feelings of guilt, and depression. She realized that she had placed God on the periphery of her life, rather than at the center, and decided to put her relationship worries in God's hands.Individually, both Eric and Leslie raised their standards regarding physical intimacy, so that they weren't just holding on to virginity, but pursuing purity. Eric reasoned he could no longer kiss a girlfriend, since he expected the relationship would not last and his actions would dishonor his future wife. Leslie set out to protect her emotions and wait for a man who would persist and win her heart. Eric and Leslie met, developed a relationship, and spent lots of time together - but as platonic friends who assumed they might marry others. Without admitting it, they found themselves silently harboring romantic feelings for one another.I liked several aspects of this book. One is the message that we as humans have a God-given desire for companionship, and that developing a lasting relationship with someone of the opposite sex is not possible without making emotional closeness a priority (i.e., getting to know someone really well). Another idea I agreed with is that love is a choice rather than a feeling, enduring when times get tough or romance diminishes. I agree that we are living in a hurry-up world that demands instant results, but relationships aren't made to work that way. In one chapter, Eric shows what it means to forgive someone, and describes many useful ways men can build up their marriage (or dating) relationship. I also liked the concept of a couple choosing a team of spiritual mentors that can guide and/or support their relationship. I appreciated the partnership modeled by the husband-and-wife authorship of the book, and I enjoyed the contrasting views shared by Eric and Leslie as they wrote alternating chapters.On the other hand, there are several points I didn't agree with. One is Eric's premise that one should not "date" a person unless they are shown by God that they will marry them. He admits that there is wide latitude in how one may interpret the word "date". Not allowing himself any physical relationship with Leslie, he implicitly conveyed his strong feelings toward her only by spending a great deal of time with her. At some point a decision regarding how to proceed had to be made. This led to (a) his telling her that he thought they may be spending too much time together, and (b) his informing her dad Rich that he wasn't pursuing his daughter romantically. While each of these steps served as a check point permitting the relationship to dissolve, and would have allowed Eric an out if it had, Eric's confession to Rich was actually less than honest. Rich read the situation correctly and offered his approval to Eric anyway; two weeks later, Eric gained enough confidence to inform him that he wanted to marry Leslie.There are other problems. I would have liked to better understand how the authors defined purity. On the one hand, Leslie instructs readers not to become physical in their relationships, but describes how shutting off all physical contact prior to marriage can backfire (chapter 4). Rather restrictively, she claims the Bible instructs young men and women to not have any physical contact with one another (chapter 7). Later in the book, Leslie relates the true love story about the courtship between an enlisted soldier and a young beautiful lady he was corresponding with during World War II (chapter 10). Leslie upholds the woman's character as "Godly", despite a deceitful and manipulative trick she played on her suitor which forced him to choose between the woman's mind and her appearance. I found myself drawn into this drama, but where in the Bible are Christ's followers instructed to lie and deceive? Eric instructs readers to reserve "every expression of sexual intimacy" until after one's wedding, but without defining specifics. When challenged by a college student claiming his approach results in "sexual repression" (chapter 5), he bemoans undisciplined Christian attitudes and quotes "thou shall nots" which serve as stern, if not completely relevant Biblical warnings. Thankfully, in this revision, Eric's general admonition against kissing seems to be confined to a personal choice that he made, rather than general counsel to everyone who reads this book.Eric discusses how Leslie's wish that "he had never desired another woman in his life" as proof positive that his anti-dating mantra is founded in God's will. (But is this holding someone to a Godly standard, or forcing unrealistic expectations on them?) In this revision, however, the context of their discussion of his prior relationships has been edited out. In the original book, Eric tearfully confessed to Leslie that he had not always loved her, and that he had wasted years of his life on prior dating relationships. Her statement in reply was one of acceptance and compassion toward him. Here, the original message of redemption and forgiveness and his release from bondage to his insecurities was lost. The point should have been that Eric had failed, but God gave him Leslie anyway - he didn't have to become righteous before He provided the love of a woman who would become his wife. Correspondingly, neither did she have to become righteous for him, though in fact God was maturing both of them, allowing their relationship to flourish. I also didn't care for seemingly boastful phrases, such as "princess of purity", or even the subtitle of this book, "the ultimate guide to guy/girl relationships". I thought as followers of Jesus, we were not supposed to boast of our own obedience, but only boast of the Lord's sacrifice on the cross (Matthew 6, Galatians 6:13-15).Despite significant problems, I appreciate a fair amount of the material in this book. In the end I think God was at work with Eric and Leslie in growing them up, so to speak, and that He brought them together and gave them the opportunity to marry and become partners in Christian ministry in an area where they have relevant personal experiences. I think they have given an honest account of their lives, including both their successes and failures, and related that to what they learned as they developed a deeper relationship with the Lord as young adults. I appreciate that in their discussion of the principles of Christian dating, they have stayed away from too many burdensome "rules" and focused on the issue of "relationship". I didn't like the inconsistent and haphazardly applied Biblical grounding for some of the material. However, I think the authors made a good faith effort, and have put forth some ideas that are worth consideration. I would still recommend this book for teens, albeit with some hesitation. For a college-aged or young Christian singles (18+ years old), I recommend the book "Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity" by Lauren F. Winner.
This book was recommended to be by a friend for my daughter. I read it first before I gave it to her so that I would know what she was reading. I LOVED this book. I wish I had read it years ago before going through all the heartache and pain that I have. I have since bought it for my younger daughter and 2 of my daughters friends. I did hear from one of her friends that she was so glad I got it for her. Not sure if the other friend has read it yet. I think its good for all ages and stages in life.
They spoke at my college in my first year. The message they shared was very influential for me. I like to share this book with as many young men and young women as possible because the message is for both sexes. The earlier we learn to trust God with everything, including relationships, the more life we get to enjoy without regret!
This is an awesome book. Wish I had found it earlier. It’s well written. The authors have a personal voice and great sense of humor. It love it and ended up sharing with multiple friends and getting other books from them.
I will give the seller of the Book 5 stars. The book arrived on time and in perfect condition. However this book is meant for probably ages 13 to 21 at the most I would say age 25. This is a great book for that age range. However, if you're over 25 and have experienced love relationships where intimacy has taken place, then do not get this book. It has maybe one chapter regarding premarital sex. This book is for those who have never experienced a serious relationship in my opinion. If you are celibate and have gone through the ups and downs of unsatisfying relationships and are waiting on a Godly mate you may want to select another book that gives more details regarding healing past relationships and marriage for those of us to did not marry in our 20's/
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